You’re wasting your time when you try to be the woman you *think* men want.

Most women make this mistake. You spend lots of time shopping, staying up with fashion, applying makeup – trying to look sexy and attractive.

And when you’re with him, you put on an act. You try your best to make him believe you’re fun, interesting, sophisticated and, most importantly you believe, self-sufficient without a care in the world. You do your best to convince him you’d be great for him because you’re so great. You want him to visualize how great his future would be if he chose you as the woman to stand by his side . . .

And it doesn’t work. It never works. It can’t work.

WHY?

You work so hard to show him what a great woman you are and, therefore, what a great wife you’d be – and he starts taking you for granted. If he even notices you at all?

Clearly, he’s immature, right? He can’t recognize a good thing when he sees it. Not until you’re gone.

What if . . . ? The problem is you’ve done all the work for him.

If He Have to Doesn’t Work for Your Relationship, He Won’t Value It

Men value most what they have to work hard to get.

That include college degrees, athletic honors, jobs, professional awards and girlfriends.

When a man easily meets the perfect girlfriend, he won’t value her as much as if he had to chase her just for a date. That’s why playing hard to get works.

There’s a big problem with that strategy. It stops working after he’s got you.

He moves on to the next challenge, the next goal.

What’s going on with that? And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?

All Women Go Through This

It causes many women to give up on love. They won’t allow themselves to get close to any man. They believe that will scare him off.

Many women ask for help. They turn to relationship coaches such as James Bauer.

He noticed many of his clients complained about guys who were giving mixed signals, changing from one day to the net, blowing hot and cold. Their relationship would be going great, and then . . . overnight, something would change.

The same warm, affectionate and interested guy would grow distant. He’d be too busy to see her or even talk to her. He wouldn’t smile when they met. He’d look away from her face. His kisses were short and businesslike.

Because he wanted to help his clients, James researched the phenomenon and why it was so common.

It took a lot of long, hard and frustrating work, but eventually he made sense of everything. The men were backing away from the woman because she wasn’t giving them what they needed.

They weren’t doing anything wrong, but they were neglecting the man’s “Hero Instinct.”

Most Women Drive Men Away Without Realizing It

And it comes from one of the most wonderful things about women – they’re naturally caring.

When you have a guy, you make time for him. You’re always there when he needs you. You take care of him. You look after him and his needs. Because you love him, you’re ready to do anything for him.

But you’re actually taking away his purpose.

He wants to be your hero. He doesn’t want you to be his hero.

Guys love heroes. They don’t read comics and thriller novels and watch action movies to imagine themselves being rescued by Bruce Willis or Spiderman – or Wonder Woman. They want to be Bruce Willis or Spiderman.

Every guy, from boyhood, dreams of saving the world — and getting the girl at the end of the adventure.

Most men work ordinary 9 to 5 office jobs that don’t them indulge their heroic feelings.

They don’t rip off their corporate ties and spring into action, revealing their inner superhero side. They don’t get to save the world. But they can still get the girl.

That’s a challenge for every ordinary guy with the heart of a hero. It takes superhuman confidence. Superhuman charm. And superhuman immunity to pain.

And he must find . . . .

A woman who needs a hero.

Do You Need a Hero?

Of course not. You don’t want to be “rescued.” That’s not part of being a hip, modern, 21st century woman.

You’re strong. You’re independent. You can take care of yourself. You need a man to complete you.

You have a lot to offer a man. You’re kind, loving and generous. All you want is a man who wants to receive all you want to give.

That’s why you attract so many takers instead of heroes. Guys who gladly receive all you have to give, then leave you high and dry.

3 Ways to Invite a Hero into Your Life, Instead of More Takers

1. Ask a man for help.
Start small and reasonable. Don’t throw yourself on his mercy (unless you really are on the run from the Mafia, terrorists or the Terminator).

Ask him for his advice on buying a new computer or laptop. Ask him about that loud rattling sound your car’s engine makes. Ask him to grab something for you on the top shelf. Thank him warmly, with an appreciative smile.

That doesn’t make you needy. Nobody knows everything about computers or cars, or can reach the top shelf.

2. Enjoy being in the company of men.

Men appreciate women who appreciate men for being men. So what if his apartment is a little (ok, a lot) dirty? So what if he devotes hours to fantasy football? So what if enjoys running or lifting weights at the gym? He’s a guy. It’s okay.

You’re the woman, and it’s okay.

3. Allow him to earn your respect and attention.

Heroes love goals and challenges. They don’t want a medal for showing up or for “participation.” They want to earn your love. They crave a challenge. So give him situations in which to prove himself. I don’t mean let him run your life, let him help you.

If you gripe about your hard day at work, it’s natural for him to suggest ways to solve your problems. Welcome them. Maybe he’ll tell you something useful.

If you only want a shoulder to gripe on, call your best girlfriend.

Keep Learning

If that sounds like fun to you, click here to watch a video presentation about this relationship enhancement tool. You learn once,  then benefit from it for the rest of your life.